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October 2007

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My parents want my life to revolve around school and work, nothing more. I need to strive and go above and beyond with my schooling, and I need to get a new job, because this one isn't challenging enough, and it doesn't pay all that well. I know I can succeed in school, life, and work, but the thing is, I think I don't accel in these things is because it's my own little way of rebelling against my parents. I've always been the good child. I've never done too bad in school, up until college. That's when I really stopped giving a shit about things. Yeah, I was depressed, and that didn't help too much. I have no motivation at home. I know I need to motivate myself, but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's just hard to get out of bed and drag myself to work... I want to be sooooo successful in life, I really do. I wanna be the best at everything I do.. I just want someone to push me, someone to be by my side, and help me get there.... I don't want to do it alone /;

Eh, I want to be able to play ice hockey. Dedicate some of my time to that, maybe get a scholarship with it, but no, mom says I'll never get anywhere with hockey.. Bullshit. If I got into a uni with a scholarship for ice, I have to keep my grades up in class, focus on my studies. It'd be so good for me, but she doesn't understand that... She never will. No one ever will.

Fahhhkkk. I wish life was easier..